Today I want to unpack five Buddhist concepts that are commonly misunderstood, much to the detriment especially of those practicing mindfulness and meditation. When I began this path 43 years ago, I had most of these misunderstandings myself. Over the years, each has become like a Zen koan as I have grown into the richness of each concept.
Life is suffering
One of many translations of The First Noble Truth of Budddhism is "Life is suffering." This is an unfortunate translation of the word dukkha which the Buddha used. Here is a brief etymology of the word dukkha, taken verbatim from Wikipedia:
“Dukkha is a term found in ancient Indian literature, meaning anything that is uneasy, uncomfortable, unpleasant, difficult, causing pain or sadness. It is also a concept in Indian religions about the nature of life that innately includes the unpleasant, suffering, pain, sorrow, distress, grief or misery. The term dukkha does not have a one-word English translation, and embodies diverse aspects of unpleasant human experiences...The word is commonly explained as a derivation from Aryan terminology for an axle hole, referring to an axle hole which is not in the center and leads to a bumpy, uncomfortable ride."
I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Nepali about 40 years ago. I had a few rides on oxcarts where the axle fit poorly into the center hole. It was not a pleasant ride! The Nepali language is a derivative of Sanskrit and dukkha was a word I heard every day--from I have a headache or stomach ache to I'm having a bad day. Part of what the Buddha was conveying in his language is that dukkha is unavoidable and a part of everyone's life. I recall a phrase I have heard in many places about life: “nobody gets out alive!” From a Buddhist perspective, we would say that no one, not even the rich, gets to have a life without some pain. This leads to the concept of detachment.
Detachment
Detachment does not mean disconnect. Rather it means to stay connected but without attachment. Because of this misconception, many meditation teachers use the term non-attachment instead of detachment.
The Buddha said that desire is not the problem. Rather desire becomes a problem when we become attached to our desires. Life then becomes like walking around in clothing made from velcro! This desire for something or this desire get rid of something like anger sticks to us, and often becomes an obsession.
One teacher gave this example of non-attachment which I share, with apologies to vegetarians. Let's say that on successive nights you are invited to two friends' houses for dinner. The first night is with a friend who is poor and serves you a steak made from the cheapest cut. The second night is with a friend who is rich and serves you the finest cut of filet mignon, grilled by a master chef. If you can enjoy both meals, then you are practicing non-attachment!
Another teacher said, “to the extent you want this moment to be different than it is, to that extent you suffer.” I had the opposite of this last summer when I lay in a hospital bed in intensive care after my second surgery for my aortic dissection. To minimize the possibility of paraplegia from the surgery, a needle was inserted into my spine and some spinal fluid was drained before the surgery. I was bedridden for the next 48 hours until the spinal drain was removed. It was quite uncomfortable to be bedridden.
For some reason, on the second morning after the surgery, when I awoke at 4 am, I was feeling more grateful than miserable, possibly because I was still alive and not a paraplegic. Not being able to get back to sleep I practiced the meditation of loving-kindness and compassion for myself and for others. During the meditation, I spontaneously decided to practice metta on my damaged and painful body. By the end of the meditation, all pain and discomfort had gone, and I was in a state of bliss for some time. For that period of time, I had completely let go of wanting the present to be any different than what it was. That is, I was not attached to the desire to be pain free in that moment. I have since read of similar experiences of people, both Buddhist and non-Buddhist, when they were very ill or hospitalized.
Accepting and letting go
Going back to cultivate, acceptance and letting go are not things that we force on ourselves, but rather attitudes that we cultivate. They grow over time. In exploring these ideas, Ajahn Sucitto noted that that letting go is the giving up (letting go) of trying to be something, the giving up of holding onto some psychological ground as one’s own. One of my students once said, in relation to intense anger at her husband's affair, “I can't let go of my anger, but I can let it be.” That is, she could allow it to exist instead of trying to get rid of it, because she realized that trying to get rid of it simply wasn’t helpful. It takes patience and cultivating various practices that ultimately result in our letting go of the anger, resentment, or whatever emotion was afflicting us.
Mindfulness
Jon Kabat-Zinn popularized the term mindfulness. However, most Americans (me included for years) think of the brain when they think of mindfulness. In the East, most people think of the brain and the heart when talking about mindfulness. A few years ago, Jon made the point that he could have used the word heartfulness for the translation of the Buddhist term sati. I try to remember to make this point when talking about mindfulness.
Meditation
The Buddha commonly used the word bhavana when talking about meditation because that word connotes cultivation, and most of the people he talked to were farmers, so they had a rich context for that word in their everyday life. When I learned this, my focus on developing my meditation practice changed:
• Cultivating a garden implies patience--it takes time to develop a rich garden.
• It implies paying attention to those factors that will yield a bountiful crop--to the soil, to sun, water, and good nutrients.
• It implies being aware of what can harm the plants and how to reduce that harm.
Another misconception about meditation is that it means stopping the mind. Actually, the practice of mindfulness meditation involves the intention to be fully aware of what is happening in each moment. This means cultivating attitudes of curiosity and non-judgment. Over time, this practice enables us to feel and see our lives more clearly, and that reduces our suffering!